If I don’t write my dreams down immediately or seriously analyze them as soon as I wake up, I won’t remember them. So I haven’t been blogging about my dreams much these days.
I was sitting at the dining room table when a number I didn’t recognize popped up on my phone. I answered it and the woman said, “Hi, do you know Kevin?” and I said, “Yes, i’m his wife.” She sighs and says, “Oh…. Oh, no……Kevin….. He, um…” and in an unnaturally calm voice, I cut her off and said, “Hey, don’t tell me anything, okay? I’m on my way up there. Just don’t even tell me.” And she said, “I’m so sorry.” I said, “No, stop, don’t say anything, i’m on my way.” And I imagine that is exactly how I would react if something were to ever happen to him.
I woke up at 4:00 raiding the fridge for brownies but my wonderful kids ate the rest of them. Thanks, kids. I went back to sleep and had a dream we were renovating a house. But there was a group of us that would be living in the house. Don’t know who those people were. But the house was massive. I was designing a TV room and a study room for the kids. I told Kevin, “Look, there’s enough room for one of those giant bean bags!” I remember there were some guys in the kitchen sawing some wood for something and in the dream, I knew them well. I can’t remember, now.
I had a dream last week that the planet was invaded by aliens. My family, my brother’s family, my sister and her friend were in it. At first, we didn’t know what was going on. We just knew that there was chaos everywhere. Car accidents, fires, explosions. We thought we were under foreign invasion or something. So we ran. We all ended up in some dank warehouse somewhere and I heard a weird clicking noise. My brother was spearheading our escape plan so he was sort of mapping out our strategy with the others while I was looking around the warehouse with a flashlight. I said, “Hey, Bubby. Remember when you used to make fun of me and call me a tinfoil hat wearer for believing in the existence of aliens?” He said, “What??” as if he were annoyed I were bringing it up at the worst possible time. I shone the light in the corner and it was the head of your standard alien on the body of a giant spider. We all ran as fast as we could. Things skipped around and we ended up in some really pretty, two story white house out in the country. It was sunny out and the light was filtering through the trees. Under normal circumstances, you’d think we were on vacation or something. We heard a loud crash coming from the road in the distance so Shannon’s friend left to see if he could help whoever it was. He returned and walked up the steps to the porch with a tomahawk wedged into his head. That’s all I remember.
We took the kids to the mall last night. We usually stop at OP mall because it’s on the way out to my brother’s house and we were dropping Ezra off for the weekend. The kids and I had to stop at the bookstore to get some books for the series’ we are reading. Vayda’s reading Dork Diaries, Ezra is reading The Bad Guys, and I am finally on the last volume of Locke and Key. I had to put it down for a while because I just haven’t had time for anything, lately. I finished book 5 night before last and oh man, I don’t want it to end lol. I also saw another graphic novel I was interested in so I picked that up, too. Kevin had to get a Jags jersey. I don’t even know anything about football and i’m excited about the championship. Everyone is in a good mood when the Jags are doing well lol. While we were sitting in the food court, I looked at my kids like, “Wow, you guys are mine. I have kids.” Because I can recall SO many memories in that mall when it was in its prime. My parents used to drop my friends and I off there starting at age 12! LOL. We’d go to the movies, get food, go to Claire’s and buy arm bracelets and belly chains lol. And now i’m sitting there with my kids. I saw a bunch of people around that looked to be the same age as me and they were there with their kids. I wondered if they ever had the same thoughts. So I zoned out like I always do and started thinking of a plot where, in a busy shopping mall, all of the kids disappear and the adults suddenly become teenagers, again. Walking around in Jnco’s and flannels, people in obnoxious silver coats and shiny jackets. Me in my black jean skort, knee highs, platform babydoll shoes and an alien ringer tee. And my mushroom haircut with two clips in my bangs lol.
Idk. I zone out a lot and think about book ideas. How unfortunate I haven’t actually written anything. Haven’t even had time to invest in the book i’m currently “working on”. I get way too hung up with the details. I should seriously just write a shitty first draft and not worry about pulling things together. Maybe, then, I will have a better scope of what needs to happen and how to get there.
Side note. I had to go to the courthouse to pay some tickets that I totally forgot about. I have my swiss army knife on a keychain and forgot about it. Security told me I had to take it back to my car but I parked blocks away and the place was packed and about to close. So I went outside and got some girls that were hustling cell phones to hold it for me. An hour later, a cop comes in (remember, it was PACKED) and he walks up to me and says (loudly) “Were you the one with the Swiss Army Knife? We’re holding it at the information desk, the girls outside had to leave.” And i’m just sitting there all like nerd face emoji “Oh, okay. Thanks!” lol.
A guy across the room mouthed to me, “You okay?” because I was dozing off. I told him the lady calling numbers should be incorporated into a whit noise machine because she was putting me to sleep. We laughed. It got awkward. Then, a guy sitting behind me drops his phone and cracks it. We started talking about how irresponsible we are with phones. Then we shared what we got citations for. Then we started laughing about how one of the guys at the counter sounded like he was on an intercom, putting dude on blast talking about, “Your license is suspended. You also need to go upstairs to the second floor and talk with the people in the felony unit.” Like damn, blasty blast haha. It’s amazing how nearly every time I am out and about for any period of time, so many random people make small talk with me……. yet I am forever friendless lol.
Anywho. 2018 is off to a great start for me. Feeling very much on my grind. Health issues, and all. Finished my second iron infusion and am starting to feel slightly normal, again. It’s time for me to map out my year and i’m planning on getting back into the YouTube game. I have some exciting videos for this year and will be showcasing a new technology at some point! Also plan on getting out there to finally interview Don, which I know people will absolutely love. He’s a sweetheart and so knowledgeable. I swear the guy reminds me of my dad haha. I have to come to terms with the fact that a lot of people are watching my videos. I just…. didn’t mentally prep for that and sometimes it really, really freaks me out. I start overthinking things that I really don’t need to overthink. I can’t control how some people see me. I hate that some people see me so negatively. I wish I could please everyone. I can’t, though. So I need to just be at peace with the fact that the MAJORITY of people who follow me on YouTube appreciate the info I give them and accept me. Everyone else can kick fucking rocks.
Oldies for days. Oldies for days. My happy place.
I wish I could go back in time and see people in their happy place; feel their energy. I want to go back when people danced and smiled and were modest and appropriate.
And 90’s country still makes me happy lol.
Wynona is a freaking queen.
But, to leave on a good note, I’ll leave you with Sam Cooke singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot….. because if you ever need a reason to shut the world out, him singing this song is it.