Goodbye, 2017!

Last post of 2017!

I went through a lot of anxiety and depression this year and i’m sure a lot of that has to do with my anemia but I also wasn’t writing as much, which is a problem. So, one of my goals for the new year is to start writing in my blog more frequently. There was a time when I wrote in it every day, which isn’t possible now that I have a job but once a week wouldn’t hurt.

This year had some highs and lows. By far, my favorite moment was seeing the eclipse with my sister and the kids. That whole trip was incredible. You know how you experience something so exciting that, looking back on it, it seems hazy, almost like a dream? That’s how that was. Everything was just perfect. The hikes and waterfalls and time at the cabin, then the perfect spot to view the eclipse, on a little hill right outside of a church in the country….. it was just amazing.

Second place would be the camping trip with the kids. That is such an unforgettable time for me. We bonded so much and I left feeling so much more capable as a mother. I enjoyed it so much that I am going to do it again in 2018. I’ll try to make it an annual deal.

I got a job this year! Crazy! That was one of my goals that I didn’t even pursue because the thought was daunting. It just fell into my lap and it’s working out so well. I actually enjoy it, love all of my co-workers, love being able to work with my sister. It’s perfect. My last job was at a call center, which, I am an introvert so that was overwhelming. Now, i’m in a small office with my own private office so people aren’t hovering over me constantly. We’ve been able to stabilize our finances with plenty of extra so that will make meeting my financial goals for 2018 very attainable.

I have enough money to pay my sister to clean my house weekly so that I can get on the right track with that. You guys, I really suck at housekeeping. I am not ashamed to admit that. But when people suck at something, they pay someone else to do it. I have no problem doing yard work so there’s no need to hire a lawn service. I have a big problem with organizing. I figure after a few months of my sister helping with that, I should be on the right track to take over. I’m trying to eliminate my problems in 2018. Or minimize them. Anything that causes me stress or keeps me from meeting my goals, I am dealing with it any way I can. I am excited about this. You have no idea how much stress it has caused me.

The solo camping trip will happen in 2018. Finally. I think it’s batshit crazy that people are so spooked about me camping by myself. I genuinely do not understand the big deal. I will be at a well populated campground, surrounded by other campers. Who are campers? Families. Scouts. Couples with golden retrievers. I have never really seen legitimate creepers at a busy campground. There are always friendly people, ready to help when someone is in need. I will be FINE. As far as kayaking, assuming I get one, it’s not like i’m going to be kayaking through the everglades or something. I’m thinking Hillsborough would be the easiest spot for a beginner. Worst comes to worst, the kayak capsizes and I swim like twelve feet to shore lol. Yes, there are gators…. but the odds of me being eaten are so, so small. I just don’t see a threat, here. And i’m the kind of person that seriously overreaches when assessing a threat. I’m fine. I will be fine. And I need it. I feel it calling haha.

I am serious about writing a book this year. I spent a great deal of time chatting with my longtime blogging friend, who is also a writer. He’s actually in the middle of writing the sixth installment for a friend’s novel, which seems to be pretty popular on amazon. I knew he would be the best one to give me advice. He helped me gain some perspective on how to tackle this monster of an idea and I am grateful for that.

There’s still a lot of details that need to be worked out. For one, I have no ending. He suggests that I start with the end. That’s a tall order for me since I live in Act II. That is where I exist. In writing, in dreams, in life. Forever Act II. He recommended the plot embryo for outlining and a story bible for pulling the world together. Also, he recommended a book to help in developing the villain. The hero is only as good as the villain is bad. I also need to work on their motives. These are all things that i’ve yet to begin.

But the idea is that, in the search for a cure for cancer, scientists accidentally activated a dormant gene, which causes a person to become invisible. There was a major coverup. The program was swept under the rug as the world celebrated the end to cancer. As the program went black-ops, the scientists became divided. There were the good guys, who tried to use this discovery for the benefit of the world. Then, there were the bad guys, who became greedy and could only see the power that could be gained through invisibility.

The story follows a girl named Avilasa, which means “A very personal desire, which has a wish that is secret”. Avi, for short. Her mother was a flake, always in and out of her life, so she was mostly raised by her grandparents. Her father was killed before she was born.   She was raised in the country, far away from the beach. So, her mom took her on a trip to the beach for her 10th birthday. Avi got carried out too far, not having experience with swimming in the ocean, and something rescued her. She was carried out by something that she couldn’t see. When she reached the shore, a seashell wrote out a message in the sand for her, signed “with love, Dad.”

No one believed her story. It spread around school and she was teased and bullied. Her school problems, combined with her mother’s flakiness, and the realization that something wasn’t right about the story of her father…. no pictures…. never met his side of the family, no evidence that he even existed outside of the stories from her mother and grandparents, she grew up with a lot of personal demons and internal conflict to work through.

As she was due to graduate college and move to NYC with her best friend to start a new life with a successful career lined up, she had a total life makeover. She changed her appearance, moved, got the job, met a guy….. and everything was perfect…… until she disappeared.

The rest of the story tells of how her grandparents were some of the original patients that received the treatment which made them invisible. Her dad was invisible. Her mother bounced between being visible and invisible, which eventually explains her absence and heals their relationship….. There’s variations in the gene. You could be normal, invisible, or bounce between the two….. and there are very few people who can successfully control this mutation…. So the story is 1) the search for her father, 2) trying to escape the greedy scientists AND the good guys (she’s stuck in the middle), 3) learning to come to terms with and hone her skills as a hybrid. The major subplot is the war going on between the good side and bad side.

I know I am probably the biggest fucking nerd in the western hemisphere but I am so excited to write this book. Just getting through the first draft would be a notable accomplishment for me.

At any rate, i’m excited for what’s in store in the new year!

Watched two episodes of the new season of Black Mirror. Big let down. Hope this doesn’t continue. It’s such a compelling show. It really makes you think about the direction we’re heading with technology.

(remember the episode where Abi song this song?! Last season was FIRE! Please, Black Mirror, do not disappoint me!!)

I tried to dramatically change my hair and it was a BIG. FAT. FAIL. That’s another goal this year. I want to change up my look. Dramatically. For real. I’m bored with it lol.

(Guys, i’m about to be 34. That is terrifying.)


(I finally got an Apple Watch for Christmas. Health Apps. Health Apps, galore.)


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