Ikea is every bit as magical as I thought it would be. That cheap ass, Swedish furniture is the stuff that dreams are made of. I did not go poor purchasing some floor to ceiling bookshelves:


Shannon and I shut the damn store down, last Saturday. Yes, we were in the store for the afterparty lol. They hate us, i’m sure. (So does my husband lol). So, on a Saturday night at like 11:00, we were riding down the interstate, bouncing because no struts, sipping gas station coffee with a car loaded full of ikea furniture lol. And we were listening to Bia Bia lmao.

I have been on a serious 90’s country binge. I’m just feeling really nostalgic lately, while also fantasizing about living out in the woods somewhere, hearing crickets, smelling pine, that sort of thing.

Never knew that this commercial:

Was the inspiration for this song:

It’s almost Christmas and I am feeling super nostalgic and pretty jealous that my kids get to write out their wishlist. It’s no longer socially acceptable for adults to write out a list of material things they want because then they’d just be an asshole.

I’m an asshole. I want shit, too lol.

Of course I don’t actually expect any of this stuff. In fact, I don’t expect anything. The only thing I actually do expect for the first time in forever is a kayak for my birthday. I literally don’t care about getting anything else. I just want a kayak. Such a humble request, right??

Actually, I told my husband that a kayak and an iPod loaded with all of my favorite music would be THE SHIT. But I won’t push it. I want a kayak. I am literally fantasizing about it lol. I want to load my kayak on top of my car and….. okay, in this fantasy, I also have one of those two lb. tents and a backpack full of gear…. yeah, I need that, too. Anywhoo, kayak on the roof, windows down because Florida, either classic rock or country blasting, on my way to Hillsborough to go on a solo camping/kayaking trip for the weekend. THAT WOULD BE PERFECT OMG. I can pull that off. I need to make that happen. Less talking, more doing, etc.

My list:

  • philips hue bulbs in the entire house
  • the house wired for sound
  • every essential oil ever
  • diffusers. more diffusers.
  • restock my art supplies
  • restock my office and writing supplies
  • candles
  • new arrows for my bow
  • an actual target for my bow
  • new encyclopedia set
  • the missing years to my world book set
  • new dictionary and thesaurus
  • me and kevin’s awkward Christmas photo, framed and mounted.
  • new foot bath and nail supplies
  • black wellies
  • red wellies
  • never mind, I don’t wear red
  • blue wellies
  • new comforter set and a smart mattress
  • grumpy cat onesie
  • new throwing knives
  • a wittling set
  • circular saw w/ table
  • khaki trench
  • this little moon lamp that keeps showing up in my suggested posts on FB
  • decor for my office at work
  • more plants
  • over-the-top bow collars for the cats
  • struts
  • cv joints
  • blower motor
  • tahoe
  • haha
  • ahhhhh
  • fishing pole and full tackle box
  • new mood ring

Okay, that’s all for now. I’d keep going but I am starting to feel like an ungrateful bitch. Besides, none of that compares to seeing the kids’ faces on Christmas morning.

I have to go. People are about to come in here and knock me off my throne. Everyone hates when I lock myself in my office and write lol


^^^^did your eye twitch?

Mine did.



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